Blade of Galadriel DLC, you were supposed to destroy evil and nonsense, not join them!


Hmm, I'm delightfully insane. Or insane to the point of insanity, not the point. The main thing is, continuing the idea of objectivity, I decided to write my own review of this monster,
highlighting the objective pluses, this DLC, and those are actually a little, and secondly ....ratify the Chinese.

P.S. I love the Chinese, and in consequence of my education, I often contact them, but fuck, this is out of line.
P.P.S. I remember what I said about copyright and the problems associated with it. And by pointing out the purely lore and logic flaws, I'm keeping that in mind.

First, I'll highlight what I liked about all of Shadow of War, including the DLC, the random facts that correspond to the actual abilities of the elves, and for the sweet, I'll leave a breakdown of the problems and bloopers of that DLC. Raznosnab may be slightly humorous harrachat, but the essence of the problems cited, it does not change.

Positive points:

1.Palantirs in the towers
I really liked the idea that Sauron himself was able to create, albeit incomplete and truncated, an analogue of palantirs


.


The secret of creating these artifacts went with Theanor, however, Sauron, being the blacksmith of blacksmiths, could very well have made something similar. Furthermore, if Sauron hadn't gotten Palantir, he would have eventually been able to create a normal counterpart.

2.The idea that Galadriel's light disintegrates orcsFrom
a canon point of view, Galadriel could know the soul of the interlocutor, and give a mental fist to the mental evil lodged in the interlocutor's thoughts
.
For orcs, such a trick would be fatal, because their entire being is evil. Plus, elven magic itself is deadly to them. ) In the eighteenth century, there was more than one nineteenth Elven woman named
Galadriel
, and there was only one other woman named Vicki who managed to get through to her in the first place, and not the entire Elven family.


3.The very idea of nazgul women. HUSSARS SILENCE!
I'm not kidding. In real history, there have been precedents (even in the UK and Sweden, albeit not officially) where female monarchs, have held the title of King. For this reason, I liked the idea that something like this could be in Middle-earth, where one of the kings of the human race could be a woman. And this, in my opinion, is not indulging in feminism, but a manifestation of knowledge of history. So, for the idea itself, thank you very much. Really surprised you. Bravo!

4. The correct presentation of the Talion ring's
absorptionThere, everything is good and correct. The cast off of his past personalitylife, the inner (albeit unrevealed in the end) transformation, does correspond to the way the Nazgul rings work (as far as we can tell, from all the known facts). In fact, I realize now that it's this episode that allows me to keep my cool when I think about this DLC.

So, the pros are over. I mean it. Prepare for the death of logic and common sense, we're starting to pick apart the joints and nonsense. Here we go!

The downsides:

1. The Dark Lord and the Light Lord are one, and they are, that flaming eye on top of Barad Door...

2. Galadriel would never force anyone to wear such a tzatzatz. She would never have pushed or given ultimatums like that. Elves aren't prone to whining and begging, "mommy, take me back!".

3. Eltariel doesn't have magnetized fingers, and elves don't have telekinesis!

4. Ring(s), does not restore fingers, dicks, eyes, soaked liver, broken heart, virginity, does not cure schizaphasia, and so on.

5. Nazguli do not know how to teleport, spavnit clouds of carbon monoxide, cosplay characters MK, spin stunt, dance lezginka and Nazguli do not the FUCKING DEATH EATERS!


6. Shelob saw the future... If she saw the future, she definitely wouldn't be eating Frodo. If she had seen the future, she would have gotten out of Mordor back when Frodo and Sam were piling into Minas Morgul. Why do they keep giving everyone and everything "special features" that the characters don't possess?

7. I get that they scripted it, but watching an Elven Orc and Nazgul(Talion) have a calm conversation, is cognitively dissonant.

8.Mordor is rich in wonders? What other wonders is Mordor rich in?!!! Am I going to see a Sauron meme? Or a rendition of a fanfic about Sauron and Morgoth fm?


9. All Orcs, prone to destruction. An orc architect is nonsense, and those who invented it are Darwin Prize winners. Orcs built something, only out of sticks and shit (exaggerating, but the point is clear).

10. Morgoth's bow... haha... Morgoth... *********************!!!
P.S. Orcs, were afraid to say Sauron's name. Even in personal conversations. Remember how in Harry Potter everyone was afraid to say Volodya's name out loud. Almost the same shit. Orcs called him (in a whisper, and shaking with fear) HE, or "Crimson Eye". And to be called a Morgoth bow...yeah at least to mention his name, that's basically impossible. Another Darwin Award, for the creators.

P.P.S. In the Army of Sauron, there was strict discipline. Orcs had their own plaques with personal numbers (or names, it wasn't specified), and any rowdy ones were immediately reported to the top. The highest authority for orcs were nazguls. From them, Orcs would shit bricks. They would rather have a mob of Elves, a lot of Shelobans, etc. than face a Nazgul. All that going on between orcs couldn't have happened in the first place. The situation between the orcs in Mordor can never have been created in the first place. (Although objectively, I understand that it's quite possible, Sauron has only just arrived in Mordor and hasn't had time to create order yet.) With the help of the zazgûl and such a mother, he would quickly shake down the insolent and especially boisterous captains, a show execution of several hundred of them would be enough to make the orcs quickly realize what would happen to them if they continued at the same rate.

11. Shelob...hmmm...wouldn't let anyone, dig anything in her territories. She'd get out on her own and eat everyone the fuck up.

12. Nazgul women, that's an interesting twist or plum, interesting twist or plum. INTRIGUE! However, new Nazguls, new pain, that's for sure.


13. An orc flopping in front of an elven woman... Hussars Silence! I've realized something here. She's not directly subjugating them. SHE DOESN'T SUBDUE THEM, THEY FOLLOW HER! Fucking
*****. I can still understand the presence in one room orc and human, if we remember, this nonsense with the subjugation, etc. But, the orcs themselves will NEVER come into contact with elves. And elves themselves NEVER contact with orcs. And both would rather perform ritual of self crucifixion on barbed wire, than this will happen. Orcs are disgusted and traumatized by the light coming from elves. How, an orc can be enchanted by an elf if you yourself made a mechanic whereby elf light disintegrates the fuck out of orcs?!!! (And she doesn't just cast it. Logically, it should periodically burst outwards against her wishes. It's like an endless water generator, inside a limited jug. The water will periodically pour out.)
Want an analogy? I have them. Will you be fascinated by a Heap of decaying meat that stinks and poisons you just by its sight? That's how elves are to orcs (the analogy is crude, but it gets the gist right).

14) An elfish woman who can appreciate an orc's vision of a perfect state... And then I get the gimmick. It got to me. Are the developers following in SnoopDog's footsteps?

15. So, Nazgûl renegades! Let's try to blow!
Uh... wha... how... in the name of the holy macaroni monster... Oh, Lord Mandos, we're all about****!
So: THE CHINESE ARE IN THE MIDLANDS! I really swear. And, no kidding, I want to personally look the screenwriters in the eye and ask if their brains are all right? I know for a fact that there's a cauldron of their own in hell. And the Professor's breaking down Einstein's physics at light speed spinning in a coffin. And don't get me wrong. I'm not picking on narrow-mindedness or race, I'm picking on the fact that this isn't some invented nation. This is the Chinese directly taken from our world. This is the height of hackiness and arrogance.

16. Okay. Exhale. Talion is not dead, and cannot die, as long as the Ring of Sauron is intact. Essentially this elf's work is pointless in principle (after the ring has possessed someone.) In the end, the ending with Talion showed the complete pointlessness of the work she did. And so does the DLC accordingly.

Even if we forget about the original, and look at "it" without context, with the ending with Talion, the DLC devalued itself. I was hoping it would be better, and it turned out to be trash, complete and impenetrable. It's DLC, not bad as a game. But, artistically speaking, the patient committed suicide on the way to the hospital.

Oh, and last. I don't know how, but they have Galadriel, turned out to be creepy. I can't explain why, but in my opinion, she's creepy.

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