My top 10 games of all time

Good day readers, I have prepared for you the top 10 video games of all time.

You may ask how you can choose 10 games out of millions. What right do I have to evaluate forty years of work of thousands of talented developers. Well, to explain it, I'll give a few quotes from famous thinkers.

Man is some imaginary toy of God. This is what we must follow; we must live by playing. - Plato

Play is the highest form of exploration. - Albert Einstein.

Nothing is true, everything is permitted - Order of Assassins

All these quotes are passed down from generation to generation, over many years. Just like books and now movies and video games have been passed down. So I asked myself, what wisdom will our descendants receive when they play Mycraft? To answer that question, I will write at the end of each game what it taught me.

#10 Team Fortress 2.

I wanted to point out Overwatch first, but for some reason every time someone does it, people start a shitstorm. Maybe they don't like the plagiarized game modes, maybe the characters are too sexualized, or maybe TF2's entire audience is 30 year old olds who sit around and farm a cap for 10k. They've had their personal lives ruined long ago, this game is all they have left, but Valve barely updates it, and when they see the best of Overwatch, they get jealous that the new generation has it, a game without pay to win and with a lot more heroes.

TF2 taught me - in an existential crisis you can't call a medic (only Mercy)

#9 Pong

Why not include the very first game in history. It's not exactly accurate though, there's some debate about that. Personally, I think the very first game is stoning a friend. However, Pong in its essence is quite similar.

Pong taught me - First time's a no-fucker, but blame it on yourself.

#8 Super Mario Bros.

A classic of the 8-bit era and beyond. The game was a real breakthrough after the Atari consoles, its gameplay/level designs are the basis for games to this day.

It's outdated now though. It would be more logical to add to the top Super Mario Odyssey, as the most technological and gameplay variety of parts, Super Mario Galaxy, which was named the best game of the decade or Super Mario 64 which critics are evaluated as one of the best games in general.

But in our country, from regular gamers, to actual critics, don't give a shit about them.

SMB has taught me - even if you're a plumber in Russia, keep living in the Mushroom Kingdom with a harem of princesses

#7 GTA V.

All the tops have this game in them. I do not really understand why. Personally, my parents do not allow me to play it. And I have no right to challenge their decision, they are older than me, they taught me everything I know, their age-old wisdom. They understand better what's important to me. I can't let my adolescent maximalism disobey them.

GTA V taught me - respect my elders.

#6 Endless Summer.

Why did I put this game in the top six? Well there are six reasons for that.

1) Lena.

2) Slavya

3) Alice

4) Ulyan... I mean Yulia, officer! (although this does not improve the situation).

5) Miku.

6) And of course, Electronik.

What possible reason could there be for NOT putting this game in the top six?

I have no idea, so let it stay here.

Endless Summer has taught me - Get your priorities right.

#5 E.T.

An Atari game, licensed from the Steven Spielberg classic. May be better known as the worst game ever. Its release was one of the reasons for the 1983 video game crisis, most of the copies were buried in the desert, those unsold cartridges just had nowhere to go.

So why does it open the top five? The fact is that people at the time thought the gaming industry was dead. Digital entertainment had no future. Then the Japanese masters had to work very hard to raise the reputation of the industry from its knees. Maybe game making is taken more seriously.

And now looking at another bad game like Fallout 76 we realize that no matter how far the industry has fallen, it has been broken long time ago.


Alien taught me - Learning from the mistakes of the past.

#4 Penguin Adventure

While I don't like the fact that there are no talented Game Designers known besides Kojima, you can't deny his genius. He puts ideas into games and is not afraid to experiment.

I will describe the reason why Penguin Adventure is here and not any of his other games.

At first I thought to specify Death Stranding, but so I will show my ignorance. Despite the premise, the game has objective flaws. Next I decided to list one of MGS's parts, so I'll look like a prowler. But then I remembered that I haven't played any of the parts. As you understood from the paragraph with GTA, I do not want to lie to my readers.

Maybe some people may think that it is not the best game of Hideo Kojima, but you do not do shit to me.

Penguing Adventure taught me how to protect myself from the fights.

#3 Super Mario Bros.

Super Mario Bros. was already in this top, but I want to talk about it some more. I think you can do that.

The game was the very first for many, as it was issued along with the console Nes and Famicom (though in our case it was Tanks).

The title of the first game is very important. For a gaming virgin who hasn't seen digital entertainment before it's the first emotion and experience in this area, Mario made it for a whole generation (Now I see why we all play WoT). But even if it's not your first game, I have for example Kuzya: Wild River, you can still enjoy it. The game seems simple as hell, but it's actually a lot deeper than you thought at first glance.

If I'm enjoying your game as much as I'm enjoying Mario, then you made a good game.

SMB taught me - don't look for double meanings.

#2 Chess

The original was invented in India a thousand and a half years ago, now it has been ported to all modern devices. It's an immortal classic, it hides the wisdom of those people who have perfected the game throughout history. One can say that Chess is like life.

Chess taught me - thousands of years of wisdom.

But which game is worthy of taking first place?

#1 Hentai Puzzle.

You might think that I put Hentai Puzzles in first place as a joke, that this game is not worthy to be above Kojima, Chess, and Fortnite. But I think this game is the quintessential human development.

All games are, by definition, about doing some sort of work, for the sake of a reward. Usually it's a dopamine rush for taking down your friend or getting cool loot. But let's say you set your mate to mate, let's say you get a meme cap in TF2, how long would the joy last? Will this victory bring you more than a passing entry of happiness hormone into your brain?

I don't think so. On the other side of the scale, the hentai pics. I agree, it's not the best reward for a person, but it's what he wants, what he will strive for, what he will appreciate when he gets it.

Of course our lust games have been spoiled before. Only they either put too much emphasis on it, which turned the game into simple porn. Or they emphasized on other elements and made erotica just a fanservice. This is the golden mean. And the game itself is a simple spot.

Think about it, naked anime chicks, for solving the spots. What could be simpler? What could be more genius? You can think about it right now, rack your brains, turn on your critical thinking. You can't think of anything better. Hentai puzzles are the best game mankind could come up with. The Persian Shah, Khosrow I Anushirvan, gave a lot of gold to the creators of chess, a pity that humanity was underdeveloped then. Only today, in the era of high technology, we have reached a second Renaissance, we have created a true masterpiece. I don't see the point in developing and playing other games when the peak point has been reached.

Hentai Puzzles taught me - sanity is easy to lose, hard to get back

That concludes my blog, thanks for reading, and I'm off to learn my lessons next. Games - it's certainly great, but it's important for me to study well, that-that I get a normal education and benefit the state and society.

Now you can safely zaminut blog, in part for this I wrote it. But that-that-at least somehow to lift your spirits offer to play the game:

There are two positivators. One has a pretty good pics, and the other is a horror from Devianart's depths, that with a good chance will cripple your psyche (or give you a new fetish).

Once again, thank you for reading and further blame yourself